Decide the kind of an example you want to be – a good one or a bad one. :)

In reality, we regret our past and focus intensely on our future. A past that was not created by us alone, but also by several other individuals. So the question is, who are these people? And why were they involved in our past? Before I tell you about the people in my life, I must say that these people left a huge impression on me. I more or less think like them now and to be more precise, I do not have my "own" identity. Yes, most of us don't have our own identities. As a child, I remember that my father was my super hero—his actions were the best decisions, I used to imitate him, his way of talking, his way of shaving even though I didn't have a beard. Coming back to my point, as children we were like clay and were molded according to our family and society, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Today what we consider right and wrong is quite influenced by our family's and society's understanding. At least that’s the case with me. I have learnt so many good and bad things from my family in the past. And by the time I realized that my thoughts are not necessarily my own, but are an amalgamation of what I have seen and learnt through my past, these thoughts have already become my ingredients. I want to keep whatever good I have learnt from my past, but I definitely want to dilute whatever bad I have learnt from my past as well. If I don’t do that, then I will pass the same thing onto the new generation and this circle will never get over, and instead will get bigger and bigger. 

Don’t get me wrong; I always tell my close friends that I am very lucky to have such fabulous family and friends. But everything has two sides, and similarly I don’t like some of the things that I have learned from my family. My friends love me and my family a lot, so they asked me, “What is it that you learned from your family but do not like?” [Side note: they are very biased towards my family and I, and cannot hear anything against us, even if it comes from our mouths :)]. But I am not similarly biased. In response to their question, I am very particular about certain things, for which people may call me orthodox. People also consider my protection of this behaviour as anger or aggression. But do you know why I behave like this? I behave like this because I have grown up seeing my family behave in this manner, and family doesn’t only mean my dad, mom, or sister, but includes whoever was close to my heart as a child.

However, it is very important for me to better myself and eliminate my flaws as far as possible before it is too late. I am not married and I do not have kids, but soon I will, and I would like to give my family a better me. I am happy to say that I am better than before, because I have realized that what I have seen and learned was not the only way to see a situation- I just needed to broaden my mind set and things could look different. One of my teachers always said that you are an example for people all the time, and it is up to you to decide the kind of an example you want to be – a good one or a bad one. :)

Inner vision is the most powerful vision to bring about a change in society. 

Dont look at your Shadow, You will trip

Problems are here, problems are there, problems are in and problems are out. The causes of these problems are many and if we call them infinite, I dont think that's wrong. The only thing which is wrong, is us and and our life which we say sucks. ;-). It is strange though that we all have problems; who ever we meet, whenever, is complaining about their problems. The question is, where are these problems coming from? And who is creating them and why do we have them?  We don't know the exact answers but we know whom to blame. Often we blame God, others, and if we can't find anybody else to blame, then it's ourselves. 

Is there some kind of a trend which makes having problems a necessity? There was a time where people were judged by their income, talent, position, etc., but now people are judged by the amount of problems they have (the more, the merrier). From dusk to dawn, we use the word "problem" as many times as we breathe in a day. These problems are constantly with us, like our shadows, and the only difference is that they are ahead of us in front of our eyes.  How can we ignore them?  Do you agree with me? We can't ignore our problems because they really exist. We all can swear on God that we can prove that our problems exist. And I know people believe that we all have problems that don't have solutions. I agree that some problems really don't have a solution but they have a cure. 

I want to ask a question: do we all believe that we have a shadow? I am sure that we do. The reason we have a shadow is that a shadow is what happens when light gets blocked! I think all of us know this since most of us are literate. But how many times in a day do we think about our shadow, or want to get proof of its existence? Not very often because we know that it will be there whenever there is light. This is physical, but what about our mental shadow which we call  a "problem". I call problems mental shadows, which exist because our mind is blocked from the light of wisdom. Problems occur when we believe that our mind can't find an easy solution for a situation. As humans, it is possible that some things are not in our hands, which can lead to feelings of uneasiness. In my point of view, this is natural. But when we constantly think about our uneasiness, then it turns into a problem, because we focus on the uneasiness and not on how to resolve it. People will say, "but that is natural!". I will say, "no it is not natural, we are just used to reacting in this way". 

We all know that when we block light we will have a shadow, but if we focus on our shadow instead of looking forward and walking, I am sure that we would trip or fall. But if we are not looking at our shadow, it doesn't mean that we are not believing in its existence. Similarly, when we take a step to gain an experience, we will encounter some uneasiness or things against our wishes. If we focus on this uneasiness, it will become our problem. And when we focus on our mental Shadow (problem), then we will fall more and won't be able to find a solution, because we are looking back at our shadow while walking forward. 

Sometimes we don't have to see a particular to believe its existence (like God) and sometimes we have to see beyond a particular (Problem) to see the reality (Solution).

I didn't write this to preach, but for the sake of my own mind. I have heard that we can be the best teachers for ourselves, as we know ourselves inside out, and it is only when you know yourself properly that you can bring a change in yourself.

Be the origin of a ripple effect.

Vaibhav