In
reality, we regret our past and focus intensely on our future. A past that was
not created by us alone, but also by several other individuals. So the question
is, who are these people? And why were they involved in our past? Before I tell
you about the people in my life, I must say that these people left a huge
impression on me. I more or less think like them now and to be more
precise, I do not have my "own" identity. Yes, most of us don't
have our own identities. As a child, I remember that my father was my super
hero—his actions were the best decisions, I used to imitate him, his
way of talking, his way of shaving even though I didn't have a beard.
Coming back to my point, as children we were like clay and were molded
according to our family and society, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Today what we consider right and wrong is quite influenced by our family's and
society's understanding. At least that’s the case with me. I have learnt so
many good and bad things from my family in the past. And by the time I realized
that my thoughts are not necessarily my own, but are an amalgamation of what I
have seen and learnt through my past, these thoughts have already become my
ingredients. I want to keep whatever good I have learnt from my past, but I
definitely want to dilute whatever bad I have learnt from my past as well. If I
don’t do that, then I will pass the same thing onto the new generation and this
circle will never get over, and instead will get bigger and bigger.
Don’t
get me wrong; I always tell my close friends that I am very lucky to have such fabulous
family and friends. But everything has two sides, and similarly I don’t like
some of the things that I have learned from my family. My friends love me and
my family a lot, so they asked me, “What is it that you learned from your
family but do not like?” [Side note: they are very biased towards my family and
I, and cannot hear anything against us, even if it comes from our mouths :)]. But
I am not similarly biased. In response to their question, I am very particular
about certain things, for which people may call me orthodox. People
also consider my protection of this behaviour as anger or aggression. But do you
know why I behave like this? I behave like this because I have grown up seeing
my family behave in this manner, and family doesn’t only mean my dad, mom, or
sister, but includes whoever was close to my heart as a child.
However,
it is very important for me to better myself and eliminate my flaws as far as
possible before it is too late. I am not married and I do not have kids, but soon
I will, and I would like to give my family a better me. I am happy to say that
I am better than before, because I have realized that what I have seen and
learned was not the only way to see a situation- I just needed to broaden my
mind set and things could look different. One of my teachers always said that
you are an example for people all the time, and it is up to you to decide the
kind of an example you want to be – a good one or a bad one. :)
Inner
vision is the most powerful vision to bring about a change in society.
